He is the rockstar who could never become a superstar. She is the pretty-young-chick with a wild side to her. And no, she can’t stand Champu-the-geek even though he can solve mathematical complications with a matter-of-fact-ease. Seven years later rockstar in a last-ditch-effort to save himself from the alimony bouncer thrown by her PYC-Wifey-Dear, decides to help out NASA Astronaut (and still-desperately-seeking the illusive-chick) Champu win his love-battle. With a tag line….Let’s Fall In Love…Again…You don’t have to be an Einstein to predict the ending. That’s the thin-sliced storyline of writer, editor, screenplay writer, dialogue writer, background music composer and director Shirish Kunder’s debut Broadway-Meets-Bollywood-Bonanza ‘Jaanemann’

‘Jaanemann’ is riding high on the Chetak-Horse of hype-n-publicity. There’s a palpable eagerness before the film begins. It starts off on an interesting note. But even before it
ends (God, it’s well over three hours) one feels like hungry for fresh air outside the theatre. It seems director Shirish Kunder is quite clear that he is telling no new story. He wants to dazzle the audience with his technical panache and fantasy-prone-editing-chops. The Filmfare Awards from the sixties when Salman Khan gets a trophy from Meena Kumari and he ends up thanking Dilip Kumar, Rajesh Khanna, Amitabh Bachchan etc. was definitely a good beginning

Storytelling via song-n-dance-jugglery with the seasoning of good humor made for enjoyable fare. A good one hour later, the film meanders into a hackneyed storyline with Rockstar Suhan (Salman Khan) and Champu Agastya Rao planting themselves in a shady apartment bang opposite the love-interest PYC Pia (Preity Zinta). Thereafter begins a Badi-Si-Love-Story as they ogle at Pia from their telescope and watch her cry watching weepie movies on their big screen ‘astronomical’ theatre. Suhan makes a cool dude out of Agastya. And as Champu gets close to his destination, Suhan gets to know about the little angel daughter he has from Pia. One is also made to suffer the most stupefying family-dance-show in Pia’s family home in US where everyone dances in a grotesque Yash-Karan mellow-drama with loud costumes, silly jokes and ‘Kabool Hai’ numbers. Uff…Hand over a glass of water please.

The end result of this hugely mounted film is the case of beautiful packaging and little-or-no-content. Director Shirish Kunder shows a lot of promise when it comes to giving a world class technical sheen to his film. He also shows a sense of humour at his own expense when he shows Suhaan’s debut film ‘Jaanemann’ being trashed by the audience. But maybe dude, you should have been tough and let someone do the editing of the final copy. The film could have been more effective if it could be curtailed by at least half an hour to forty five minutes. Taking cinematic liberties is fine but you just can’t take audience sensibilities for granted. Even if you wanted to throw dust-of-magnificence in the eyes of audience, at least there could have been some semblance of plausible storyline. Style is wasted if the content is missing. And that’s exactly the flaw with ‘Jaaneman’

Akshay Kumar definitely has taken a big risk by playing a geek-with-a-silly-laughter-therapy. He himself knows his limitations as an actor and yet he springs up a fine show. It’s always clear that he is the supporting actor in the film and he plays it to perfection. Preity Zinta once again is back with her-pregnant-lady avatar that she has done-to-death now. She looks good although I would have preferred someone like Vidya Balan in such a role as this. Zinta babe should do something about those potatoes showing on her…It’s time to hit the gym with a vengeance girl.

Anupam Kher as the lovable dwarf Chaachu tends to be a bit over the top. Even his get- up left something to be desired. Maybe the makers should have watched Kamal Hasan in ‘Appu Raja’ to give more credence to the part of a dwarf.

Music by Anu Malik (Or is it someone else that the world doesn’t know of) is first class. ‘Humko Maloom Hai’, ‘Ajnabi Sheher’, ‘Jaane Ke Jaane Na’ and ‘Sau Dard’ are fantastic numbers. Here I would like to give a special mention for singer Sonu Nigam who sings in a variety of styles and comes up trumps in each one of them. Camera work by Sudeep Chatterjee is a treat. He has handled the youthful hues-n-shades with a lot of deftness, sensitivity and maturity. Choreography by Farah Khan left a lot to be desired. Considering it is her husband’s film, one expected something out-of-the-ordinary, but it’s just regular fare.

‘Jaanemann’ is not what you expect it to be in the final analysis. It has its moments especially due to the stylish storytelling at times and the technical wizardry displayed throughout the film. Yet, the lack of good script is its biggest undoing. At the Box Office, it shall surely have a good opening due to Diwali Holdiays but it would find it hard to sustain itself beyond the initial hype. It’s not really the best thing to have happened this Diwali. Watch it if you are a Salman fan and have loads of patience to hang on till the endless end.